I received word on July 8 and scheduled the surgery immediately. So, I've been trying to prepare by recording extra podcast content in advance, sending my partner on a large grocery shopping excursion, and prepping for surgery and life post-op for the past several days.Read More
I have kicked around the idea of writing a regular blog to feature helpful products and resources that make my Spoonie life more livable, for quite some time. I decided today, just moments before I began writing this post, to start doing so today and to do it monthly. Welcome to the June edition of Just Five Things!
Some of the products I will feature each month are products that I have affiliate links for, and I’m not even trying to hide that from you. A Spoonie has got to eat! The affiliate links may also generate revenue for my podcast, as I may share products and services from our corporate sponsors and affiliates — or companies that become our podcast sponsors and affiliates.
Don’t hate, appreciate. You’ll get a discount too, for using my/our link. I nor my podcast will ever endorse products or services that we don’t use ourselves or haven’t tried, we’re actually super picky about that shit. So, without further adieu, here are five things that make my #SpoonieLife easier and/or better every day!Read More
If gaslighting is manipulating someone into questioning their own sanity, medical gaslighting is manipulating a patient into thinking that they are exaggerating their own condition, causing a patient more and prolonged pain, putting their well-being or even their lives at risk. Both anecdotal and legal studies suggest that the mistreatment and neglect of female patients reporting pain to medical professionals is not the exception, but the rule. It has got to stop. (Quote from an article I’ve previously published.)Read More
I decided it was time to dust off my blog, get fucking serious about it this time, and keep up with posting weekly. I decided that I would start that today, by sharing this old post. I guess I feel like I need this reminder and divine kick in the ass, and you may all need a reminder too, about why I started this blog in the first place.Read More
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go” ~ Jamie Anderson.
So, here’s the thing my therapist tells me that I’ve literally been saying on repeat in my head ALL DAY.
“It’s just a bad time in your life, sweet girl. not a bad lifetime.”
It was just an awful day, only one terrible day out of the last 13 days since getting my implant. Those are a lot better odds than what I was working with before!
I focused on my physical health goals and pushing doctors to work with me to define what has been happening with my body and how to treat my pain long-term and in a way that would significantly improve my quality of life. (It appears I may have something called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, or CRPS, though the diagnosis is not yet official.) I also kept busting my ass in my rehabilitative workouts in the pool and with my personal trainer. I dropped 9 inches from August to October, from my waist, chest, and hips.Read More
But what is happening to me? I had zero reflexes in my left legs and my pupils weren't responding to light, I was falling over, the pain was intense because at this point I was like 12+ hours without any meds, and my blood pressure was up to like 191/87 at one point.Read More
I said many, many f-words, in a variety of ways and sentences. I apologized, of course, for the fact that my mouth turns into that of a seasoned ex-con working at a tattoo shop (yep, believe it or not, I'm familiar) and they forgave me. The doctor and nurse insisted that it was nothing they don't hear every day.Read More
"I can't promise you that everything I try will work. I can promise you that if I try something and it doesn't work, I will keep trying new things, and I won't just give up and tell you to find another doctor.”Read More
“Can’t” weighs on us and if we aren’t careful it can sink us like an anchor sitting on our chest.
But with this business, I CAN.Read More
The short story is that my doctor is an assclown and refused to call the clinician from UNUM back about my disability claim because he thought I was trying to get put on PERMANENT Disability, and scam the government.Read More
Never let anyone else write your story. Don't let them decide who you are and what your truth is. Most people in my position don't have the financial resources to access a lawyer, or the wherewithal to know that it might be worth fighting a decision like this.Read More
DISCLAIMERS:I am not a medical or legal professional. The information provided in this blog is anecdotal and is not medical advice. I am telling you MY story. My story and experiences may be different from yours.Read More
I am normally a very loving, kind person. I may say things super bluntly (especially for southerners) and I definitely say "fuck" a whole lot, but I'm kind. My friends actually call me the Love Terrorist. It started with my friend Lisa and I owned it and now it's just a thing.Read More
I have done a lot of hard work in therapy throughout my adult life. I've had two therapists especially who I credit with helping me to make my biggest breakthroughs so that I could function as a healthy (albeit imperfect) adult. Because of all of this hard work I am generally able to maintain my moods and emotional well-being with extremely low doses of a particular medication and a heaping mountain of self awareness and self-care practices (thanks social worker friends!) Diet and exercise also play a roll.
Throwing chronic pain into my mix, though...I didn't see that freight train coming, y'all.Read More
The simple secret of loving someone or interacting with someone who has an invisible illness and/or chronic pain, is this: "That really sucks. I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, it sounds like Hell. Is there anything I can do to help?"Read More
There was a period in early June, before my doctor and I got the Gabapentin to levels that made a significant impact in which everything is a blur and I lost chunks of whole days because my brain dissociated. Pain that intense creates a sort of mental prison that the sufferer can get trapped and lost in. At least that was the case for me. There were times when I was home alone or at night when I needed to be sleeping and the pain was so intense and sustained such high levels that I would be crying and wishing for escape, thinking, "If this is what life is going to feel like long term, I don't want to live."
I was lucky because I never had to be alone for very long.Read More
I dared to get up off of the couch. I turned 'just so' as I did and that was it. The left side of my back went into a full on "What the cuss?!?" Spasm. My mouth did other things, said other, more colorful things. I knew that moving too far or too quickly just became not even kind of an option. So, I turned on my heating pad (which was thankfully right next to me) and laid down. Laying down is where I've stayed. Today sucks.
But it's not the end of the world. This mental slump I'm in? I'll get out of it by tomorrow morning, probably. Here's my pledge to anyone reading this, any friend or follower or client and even to myself:Read More