Posts tagged spoonie
Dream a little dream.

Last year my business coach and mentor, Heather Quisel, had everyone in our 14-Day Level Up Challenge group write a letter to themselves. We then tucked those letters into envelopes and mailed them off to Heather, with a self-addressed and stamped return envelope for her to utilize to mail the letters back to us one year later.

Today, I received the letter I wrote to myself on May 29, 2018.

Read More
I am Kelly Nerdzilla Mendenhall

I am Kelly Nerdzilla Mendenhall. I am an author, entrepreneur, and love terrorist living with chronic pain and invisible illness. I help other badass unicorns, like myself, break away from 'tradition' and create a life and career that honors their special needs and limitations.

Read More
How my virtual business saved my life

“Can’t” weighs on us and if we aren’t careful it can sink us like an anchor sitting on our chest.

But with this business, I CAN.

Read More
My first vlog is about my doctor being an idiot.

The short story is that my doctor is an assclown and refused to call the clinician from UNUM back about my disability claim because he thought I was trying to get put on PERMANENT Disability, and scam the government. 

Read More
Losing the battle, not the war

Never let anyone else write your story. Don't let them decide who you are and what your truth is. Most people in my position don't have the financial resources to access a lawyer, or the wherewithal to know that it might be worth fighting a decision like this. 

Read More
What happens when I am paingry

I am normally a very loving, kind person. I may say things super bluntly (especially for southerners) and I definitely say "fuck" a whole lot, but I'm kind. My friends actually call me the Love Terrorist. It started with my friend Lisa and I owned it and now it's just a thing.

Read More
Anxiety spirals

I have done a lot of hard work in therapy throughout my adult life. I've had two therapists especially who I credit with helping me to make my biggest breakthroughs so that I could function as a healthy (albeit imperfect) adult. Because of all of this hard work I am generally able to maintain my moods and emotional well-being with extremely low doses of a particular medication and a heaping mountain of self awareness and self-care practices (thanks social worker friends!) Diet and exercise also play a roll.

Throwing chronic pain into my mix, though...I didn't see that freight train coming, y'all.

Read More
When all of your good planning doesn’t mean squat

For a long time I accepted my meager earnings as "part of the deal." In exchange for the opportunity to do life-changing, world-changing work I had to suck it up and make less money.  After some years, though, acceptance turned into deep resentment and I stopped dreaming, stopped looking to the future. I was just trying to survive, and just barely doing so.

I invested in my business days before Thanksgiving in 2016. I haven't looked back since.

Read More
How to be a better friend and person to someone living with chronic pain & illness

The simple secret of loving someone or interacting with someone who has an invisible illness and/or chronic pain, is this:  "That really sucks. I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, it sounds like Hell. Is there anything I can do to help?" 

Read More
A port in my storm

There was a period in early June, before my doctor and I got the Gabapentin to levels that made a significant impact in which everything is a blur and I lost chunks of whole days because my brain dissociated. Pain that intense creates a sort of mental prison that the sufferer can get trapped and lost in. At least that was the case for me. There were times when I was home alone or at night when I needed to be sleeping and the pain was so intense and sustained such high levels that I would be crying and wishing for escape, thinking, "If this is what life is going to feel like long term, I don't want to live."

I was lucky because I never had to be alone for very long.

Read More