I received word on July 8 and scheduled the surgery immediately. So, I've been trying to prepare by recording extra podcast content in advance, sending my partner on a large grocery shopping excursion, and prepping for surgery and life post-op for the past several days.Read More
I decided it was time to dust off my blog, get fucking serious about it this time, and keep up with posting weekly. I decided that I would start that today, by sharing this old post. I guess I feel like I need this reminder and divine kick in the ass, and you may all need a reminder too, about why I started this blog in the first place.Read More
So, here’s the thing my therapist tells me that I’ve literally been saying on repeat in my head ALL DAY.
“It’s just a bad time in your life, sweet girl. not a bad lifetime.”
It was just an awful day, only one terrible day out of the last 13 days since getting my implant. Those are a lot better odds than what I was working with before!
I am Kelly Nerdzilla Mendenhall. I am an author, entrepreneur, and love terrorist living with chronic pain and invisible illness. I help other badass unicorns, like myself, break away from 'tradition' and create a life and career that honors their special needs and limitations.Read More
But what is happening to me? I had zero reflexes in my left legs and my pupils weren't responding to light, I was falling over, the pain was intense because at this point I was like 12+ hours without any meds, and my blood pressure was up to like 191/87 at one point.Read More
I said many, many f-words, in a variety of ways and sentences. I apologized, of course, for the fact that my mouth turns into that of a seasoned ex-con working at a tattoo shop (yep, believe it or not, I'm familiar) and they forgave me. The doctor and nurse insisted that it was nothing they don't hear every day.Read More
Tomorrow, Friday, I head in for lumbar facet injections bright and early in the morning. The purpose is twofold: It will, hopefully, help with the pain in my low back and maybe some of my leg pain.Read More
"I can't promise you that everything I try will work. I can promise you that if I try something and it doesn't work, I will keep trying new things, and I won't just give up and tell you to find another doctor.”Read More
“Can’t” weighs on us and if we aren’t careful it can sink us like an anchor sitting on our chest.
But with this business, I CAN.Read More
The short story is that my doctor is an assclown and refused to call the clinician from UNUM back about my disability claim because he thought I was trying to get put on PERMANENT Disability, and scam the government.Read More
Never let anyone else write your story. Don't let them decide who you are and what your truth is. Most people in my position don't have the financial resources to access a lawyer, or the wherewithal to know that it might be worth fighting a decision like this.Read More
DISCLAIMERS:I am not a medical or legal professional. The information provided in this blog is anecdotal and is not medical advice. I am telling you MY story. My story and experiences may be different from yours.Read More
The simple secret of loving someone or interacting with someone who has an invisible illness and/or chronic pain, is this: "That really sucks. I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, it sounds like Hell. Is there anything I can do to help?"Read More
I love ice cream. Like, I'm the girl from Michigan who's all, "It's 55 degrees guys! Time for ice cream!"
I never don't want ice cream.
It's a running joke in my relationship. I'd rather get ice cream than flowers or jewelry. Ok well maybe not jewelry. But I love ice cream a lot is all I'm saying.
Have I yet mentioned that I live in a town in South Central Tennessee that isn't super alternative-diet friendly? They put meat in everything in the south, y'all. Even green beans. Green beans have meat. Let that sink in...Read More
There was a period in early June, before my doctor and I got the Gabapentin to levels that made a significant impact in which everything is a blur and I lost chunks of whole days because my brain dissociated. Pain that intense creates a sort of mental prison that the sufferer can get trapped and lost in. At least that was the case for me. There were times when I was home alone or at night when I needed to be sleeping and the pain was so intense and sustained such high levels that I would be crying and wishing for escape, thinking, "If this is what life is going to feel like long term, I don't want to live."
I was lucky because I never had to be alone for very long.Read More