Posts tagged back pain
I had to take a break.

Brain: No. Don't do that thing you feel like it's important to do. It will be fine. The world won't stop spinning. Also brain: You should feel horrible about not doing that thing! Now everyone is going to be disappointed in you and they'll never want to read your blog again!

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Holy cannoli

I want to be an unstoppabl einfluence. I want to help others while learning and growing myself -- ideally, I'd like to make enough money to pay my bills while doing it. That's not something that's impossible, it's just not something I believe I could have achieved had I continued to feel trapped and oppressed in a traditional work setting. 

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My very own Christmas miracle: How I met Dr. Unicorn

"I can't promise you that everything I try will work. I can promise you that if I try something and it doesn't work, I will keep trying new things, and I won't just give up and tell you to find another doctor.”

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How my virtual business saved my life

“Can’t” weighs on us and if we aren’t careful it can sink us like an anchor sitting on our chest.

But with this business, I CAN.

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My first vlog is about my doctor being an idiot.

The short story is that my doctor is an assclown and refused to call the clinician from UNUM back about my disability claim because he thought I was trying to get put on PERMANENT Disability, and scam the government. 

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Losing the battle, not the war

Never let anyone else write your story. Don't let them decide who you are and what your truth is. Most people in my position don't have the financial resources to access a lawyer, or the wherewithal to know that it might be worth fighting a decision like this. 

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What happens when I am paingry

I am normally a very loving, kind person. I may say things super bluntly (especially for southerners) and I definitely say "fuck" a whole lot, but I'm kind. My friends actually call me the Love Terrorist. It started with my friend Lisa and I owned it and now it's just a thing.

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Anxiety spirals

I have done a lot of hard work in therapy throughout my adult life. I've had two therapists especially who I credit with helping me to make my biggest breakthroughs so that I could function as a healthy (albeit imperfect) adult. Because of all of this hard work I am generally able to maintain my moods and emotional well-being with extremely low doses of a particular medication and a heaping mountain of self awareness and self-care practices (thanks social worker friends!) Diet and exercise also play a roll.

Throwing chronic pain into my mix, though...I didn't see that freight train coming, y'all.

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How to be a better friend and person to someone living with chronic pain & illness

The simple secret of loving someone or interacting with someone who has an invisible illness and/or chronic pain, is this:  "That really sucks. I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, it sounds like Hell. Is there anything I can do to help?" 

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Banana ice cream doesn't suck…and other things I’ve learned

I love ice cream. Like, I'm the girl from Michigan who's all, "It's 55 degrees guys! Time for ice cream!"

I never don't want ice cream.

It's a running joke in my relationship. I'd rather get ice cream than flowers or jewelry. Ok well maybe not jewelry. But I love ice cream a lot is all I'm saying.

Have I yet mentioned that I live in a town in South Central Tennessee that isn't super alternative-diet friendly? They put meat in everything in the south, y'all. Even green beans. Green beans have meat. Let that sink in...

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A port in my storm

There was a period in early June, before my doctor and I got the Gabapentin to levels that made a significant impact in which everything is a blur and I lost chunks of whole days because my brain dissociated. Pain that intense creates a sort of mental prison that the sufferer can get trapped and lost in. At least that was the case for me. There were times when I was home alone or at night when I needed to be sleeping and the pain was so intense and sustained such high levels that I would be crying and wishing for escape, thinking, "If this is what life is going to feel like long term, I don't want to live."

I was lucky because I never had to be alone for very long.

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