Dream a little dream.

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Last year my business coach and mentor, Heather Quisel, had everyone in our 14-Day Level Up Challenge group write a letter to themselves. We then tucked those letters into envelopes and mailed them off to Heather, with a self-addressed and stamped return envelope for her to utilize to mail the letters back to us one year later.

Today, I received the letter I wrote to myself on May 29, 2018. It reads:

Dear Kelly,

What a strange and crazy life it has been the last couple of years. Look at all you've faced, overcome, and strived against.

On the day that you are writing this letter, you are still mostly homebound. You are walking on your own and doing water aerobics two times a week, training with Jacob two times a week, and getting a lot of napping in between. But you've come so far from where you were a year ago, with so much fear and pain that you were convinced that you couldn't make it.

As you read this, you should be embarking on the publication of your memoir, The Stories My Tattoos Tell. Your biggest dream ever is coming true! The big dream you've been dreaming since you were just six or seven years old and begged for a typewriter for your birthday! It's HAPPENING! If you never sold one copy, you still did the damn thing. But I'm willing to bet you're going to sell a hell of a lot more than one copy.

How many dreams have you knocked off of your 100 list from HQ's Level Up Challenge?

I'm choosing to believe that within a month or two of writing this letter, you'll have won the case against ****, and finally be receiving the benefits you deserve. I am choosing to believe that the stability gained from that money has allowed you to focus on developing yourself more, healing, and building strength so that you can avoid ever having to go through something like this again.

If you didn't get the money, you probably felt like you'd never make it to the other side of the financial difficulties, but here you still are. I hope that you haven't forgotten all of the fire that lives inside you. Every time you have thought you couldn't possibly go on, you went and did it, anyway.

Congratulations on all that you have survived, strived in spite of, and accomplished this past year. I look forward to seeing what you make of the year to come.




The actual letter.

Written on May 29, 2018.

Spoiler alert:

It wasn't two or three months after I wrote the letter that I finally won a settlement. I'm expecting the check for that this week, actually.

Regarding that list of 100 things; part of our coaching experience was to write out a list of 100 things that we wanted to do, see, achieve, and acquire over the following five years. Then, Heather directed us to shrink the list down to our top ten things, and finally, we had to identify our top three domino goals; the goals that, if we met them (ideally within twelve months,) would make everything else fall into place.

I've linked my list of 100 things here so that you all can see what kinds of things I included on mine. Some of the items are frivolous and, and some are highly practical and even necessary. I've placed stars next to the goals and dreams I've made happen.

(You may notice I crossed out, "Attend podcast workshop." Turns out we just went ahead and started the damn thing without the faintest clue what we were doing, and it's working out just great!)

As for those top three domino goals, I ended up with:

1. Get to a goal weight of 190lbs. And get rid of bingo arms.

2. Grow my network marketing team to 30 people.

3. Complete my manuscript by 12/31/2018 and publish my book by 6/1/19.

So, how have I measured up to those goals?

Well, I haven't gotten to my goal weight, but I have lost 50+ lbs. of fat and endured and recovered from a pretty intense surgical implant to help better control my pain.

I haven't grown my network marketing team to 30 people; I haven't tried hard enough, I have four people in my squad. I know the things I need to do to grow my team -- more events, more engagements, more consistent messaging, and better developing myself as a leader. Some of those things I wasn't able to do because of my physical limitations, but if I'm being honest with myself and you the thing that has held me back more than anything is fucking fear. Plain and simple.

Finally, I am, in fact, embarking on launching my first ever published book. I damn sure did get my manuscript finished (though not by 12/31/18, it was February 2019) and many more than one copy have sold, and many more will sell when it fully launches on June 1. Pre-sales have been happening for a while now, and it just so happens that it launches into the universe on June 1, 2019... the same weekend I'll be attending PodX in Nashville, performing my podcast life for the first time. (Go to this website for tickets, and use promo code Happy to receive a discount.)

All-in-all, and taking into consideration the physical, emotional, and financial stress that I've been under, I think I've done pretty well. But what do I need to do to move forward and make those other two goals happen and start knocking things off of my list of 100 things to do, see, achieve, and acquire?

For starters, I need to revisit the list and modify some things. Some of the goals I had have been accomplished and need to be replaced with new ones. I need to buckle down and re-evaluate my top three domino goals and devise the action plan (sources need, steps to take, etc.) to meet those goals.

I now have two recurring events scheduled in my little town each month. I will do a Mask & Mingle event on the 2nd Thursday of every month at Muletown Pottery in the evening, and a Coffee & Conversations event on the 3rd Thursday of every month at The Windmill Bakery & Coffee Shop.

I need to be more consistent with my writing -- blogging, guest-blogging, freelance journalism, and my next book project. I need to write all the things and continue to develop myself as an author!

And, as my trainer Jacob and I just discussed this afternoon, I'll be changing up my rehabilitation schedule a bit. Rather than doing water aerobics twice each week, which seems to exacerbate the nerve pain in my left hip and leg, I will increase my weekly training sessions to three times a week with one extra independent cardio day. One day of my training will be devoted entirely to core strength and flexibility, while the other two days will primarily involve strength training for different muscle groups.

Finally, I need to continue the work I've been doing on my mindset through therapy and the coaching I received last year from Heather Quisel and Natasha Hazlett. This means I need to start the twelve-week course I purchased from Heather Quisel all over again, as the version of myself I am now, today because she is in a much different place than the Kelly I was in May 2018! (Wait, one more thing... For the love of all that is holy, I have got to get back on my daily/weekly planner schedule and fucking stick to that shit.)

To ensure my own accountability and follow-through on these items, I'm writing them here in my blog for the whole world to see. Next week I'll write another post with my new list of 100 things and top three domino goals. I really do look forward to seeing all that I do with this next year. Obstacles, fear, and anxiety be damned.

Thanks for indulging me.