I am Kelly Nerdzilla Mendenhall

I am KNM.png

Reintroducing Myself

It's been a good long bit since I've written anything in my blog. Some folks are likely wondering where the Hell I've been, and some may not realize I've been gone until the notification for this post pops up in their feed somehow.

The truth is that I've been absentee because I have had some of the best and worst times of my life in recent months.

Firstly, I'd love share with you all that I am officially a published author! This is a huge deal and has been a lifelong dream of mine. To finally see my name in the byline a few times has been a real kick. I am writing for Blasting News US. If you follow that link you'll go to my author profile with the three articles I published in April. Please, take a gander! I am paid more according to how many individual unique readers I have visit my articles, I hope you enjoy them!

Secondly, I have done a lot of personal and professional development and really worked on nailing down my "personal brand." I think I've finally figured out my magic, as Heather Quisel would say!

Are you ready?! Here goes!

I am Kelly Nerdzilla Mendenhall. I am an author, entrepreneur, and love terrorist living with chronic pain and invisible illness. I help other badass unicorns, like myself, break away from 'tradition' and create a life and career that honors their special needs and limitations.

TA-FUCKING-DA!

Now for the part with the pain and the suck

My last piriformis injection was March 3rd. Or 2nd. Something like that.

All of March I felt AMAZING. I was walking 2-3 miles a few times a week, doing water aerobics 2-3 times a week, doing chores around the house, being a real person again.

Then, all of a sudden the day after Easter, the pain came back. By the end of that following week it was back up to a 7 or 8 on the pain scale.

I saw Dr. Unicorn on April 18 and told him that the sciatica and hip/glute pain on my left side was back.

This put me into new territory, as now I am a person with recurrent piriformis syndrome, and I had responded so well to the previous injections that this was rather unexpected.

As such, Dr. Unicorn had to admit that he wasn't sure what to do.

That's a punch to the gut, when your doctor isn't even sure what to do next. But at least he was honest.

So our plan is to do another injection on May 4th, and in the meantime he is consulting some orthopedic surgeon friends and colleagues and doing some research into what some of the common causes of recurrent piriformis syndrome are, and potential treatments. It isn't reasonable or feasible to continue doing injections every 2-3 months because the out-of-pocket cost attached to those is almost $900. Yay, American medical complex!

I don't really know what the future holds, but I know that this is a giant pain in my ass (literally and figuratively) and I'm ready to figure it out.

PTSD Awareness

In addition to the physical symptoms and pain, I've been going through an extremely dark and difficult time emotionally.

I am under the care of a new psychiatrist who has declared me to be in a relapse of major depressive disorder and PTSD, triggered by the experiences I've had in the past eleven months or so with doctor's not listening to me, accusing me of exaggerating symptoms, etc.

If you haven't read those articles I mentioned earlier, you may want to, as one gives the history behind my PTSD and the other is about how doctors and other medical professionals commonly and frequently gaslight female patients reporting pain.

To make a long story short, I have been having nightmares every night since February, am having major depressive episodes and bouts of crying that go on for days or even a week or two at a time, and am consumed with anxiety regularly. So much so, that my resting heart rate has gone up and so has my blood pressure, significantly. I'll begin seeing a trauma therapy specialist in the middle of this month.

The Good News is...

I'm not giving up.

I'm still working on personal and professional development.

I'm still developing my personal brand and marketing skills.

I'm still building my virtual business, and I totally plan to take over the world! (Even from the couch.) By the way, I'd love to have you as part of my team (team Nerd Herd,) IF...

  • You too are a person who is seeking a way to break free from "tradition" and create a life and career that honors YOUR special needs and limitations

  • You love the idea of working with a tribe of people who want nothing more than to success (their own and yours!) with you, rather than dragging you down

  • You are not down with playing it safe in the old school, and are ready for a new wave of social marketing, and/or

  • You have at least a little bit of nerd and a lot of creativity in you!